Parents make son choose between paying student loans and having kids, son gets vasectomy: 'I don't really think I owe them anything'

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  • 01
    Posted by u/HotRent1508 1 day ago AITAH for telling my parents that they made me chose between paying my student loans and having kids so I had a vasectomy and they will never have grandkids?
  • 02
    My brother was awesome and my parents loved him. So did I. On the other hand my parents tolerated me. I wasn't good at sports, or school, or anything really. I was pretty much an afterthought.
    via u/HotRent1508
  • 03
    When my brother got into medical school while I was in community college my parents. helped him out so he could graduate without debt. He had a bright future ahead and they wanted him to achieve. I was told I had to get
    via u/HotRent1508
  • 04
    student loans. Which I did. I also finally accepted my place. on their world and went low contact. Mostly we only talked at some event for my brother.
    via u/HotRent1508
  • 05
    I ended up getting my master's and I like my career. I like helping people. But I had to plan for my future. I knew I could have a good life with a partner but that kids would lower my standard of living. So I got a vasectomy.
    via u/HotRent1508
  • 06
    I met my wife and she is on board with bring child free. We have a small house in a LCOL town and a couple of dogs. Sorry for all the build up but I am trying to avoid writing this next part.
    via u/HotRent1508
  • 07
    My brother d on his honeymoon. My parents are devastated. I'm not doing much better. My wife and I traveled to my home town for the funeral. I saw my folks and went to see how they were.
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  • 08
    We hadn't spoken since my brother's wedding the previous month. They were obviously distraught. My mom said that when we had kids I should name one after my brother.
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  • 09
    I wasn't really thinking straight so I told the unvarnished truth. I had to choose between kids and paying off my student loans. She asked what I meant. So I admitted that I had gotten a vasectomy and would not be
    via u/HotRent1508
  • 10
    having kids. I always figured she would get her grandma needs met by my brother. My dad blew up at me for making such a stupid decision. That I had basically decided to end our branch of the family tree.
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  • 11
    I said that I always thought my brother would provide them with grandkids and that if I had kids they would be afterthoughts like I was. We went back home afterwards instead of hanging around. My
    via u/HotRent1508
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    mom is having some sort of breakdown from my brother passing away and now me telling her that I will not be having children. My dad is just angry. I'm hearing from family
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    that I was insensitive to put it the way I did. They have not shown much interest in me since I was 12. I don't really think I we them anything.
    via u/HotRent1508
  • 14
    My dad called and offered to pay to get my vasectomy reversed. I told him my wife didn't want kids. I reminded him that we had told them that we were child free and they didn't care until my brother dad.
    via u/HotRent1508
  • 15
    Egal89 1 day ago NTA they totally forgot - that you lost your brother too. I am so sorry for your loss. But now gulit tripping you for your decision to live a childfree live? Your parents are the ah here. It's like now the remember that they have a second son. You don't owe them grandchildren. Period.
    via u/Egal89
  • 16
    nazim_yh 1 day ago You don't want to have kids, that's your choice and they don't have a say, especially if they treated you like then expects you to be a replacement of their perfect child.
  • 17
    StructureKey2739. 23 hr. ago I think the parents expect a grandson to be the replacement. Otherwise they don't give a about OP. I'm sorry OP.
  • 18
    Quiet-Hamster6509 1 day ago NTA Once again, your parents are putting what they want first, regardless of whether it would put you in financial ruin. They don't care, just care about what they want. Don't be afraid to go low to no contact with them.
  • 19
    • Secret_Double_9239 1 day ago NTA maybe not the right time to tell them but what's done is done now. For your own mental health and peace of mind however I would recommend staying low contact with them. They are probably going to try to make your fill the void your brother left in their life and any affection they give won't seem genuine or they will start to compare you to him.
  • 20
    raonstarry 1 day ago Well it is just too bad for your parents. Even if you had children your parent should not be allowed in their lives. They do not deserve it.
  • 21
    I wasn't really thinking straight so I told the unvarnished truth. I had to choose between kids and paying off my student loans. She asked what I meant. So I admitted that I had gotten a vasectomy and would not be having kids. I always figured she would get her grandma needs met by my brother.

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